Now, we did have tiny moments in time that were not complete chaos. They may have some narcissism thrown in but, it was tolerable by this point. Or maybe we had just gotten use to it so, when it happened we no longer payed attention to it.
Now, these moments in time didn’t last long. Like…it was week to week! Sometimes I would even say day to day. Unfortunately, we got use to the chaos and we wouldn’t notice the snide comments sometimes. And the times it wasn’t chaos, you could see the relief on the kids faces. They definitely knew those moments were few and far between….
We went to watch the oldest daughter cheer a couple of times. It was interesting…as in the ex-wife behaved. Like, not a peep out her. She said “hi” to us when we got there, sat a few bleachers lower than us but, didn’t once show her ass. Not while at the field anyways. We where never allowed at any of the school functions. I wholeheartedly believe it was because then she couldn’t let her husband play dad. She had already removed my husband as the kids dad on any of the school paperwork. So, we couldn’t show up and my husband be introduced as dad by one of the kids….her cover would’ve been blown.
Once her oldest daughter moved in with us, she was calm for the first couple of weeks. But, once my husband made it clear that she didn’t get to make the rules for our house, things got tense. The ex-wife didn’t believe that was fair, “She’s my daughter”. Yes, she is but this was our house. Period!
She did lose her shit on my husband when we registered the kid to the school in our area and she wasn’t listed as an emergency contact. But, her own child didn’t want anything to do with her at the time, she was hurt and pissed. And refused to even talk to her mother for a while. It was fucking miserable being the middle man with those two! I drank until we found out I was pregnant with our second daughter.
Things got so little awkward when we announced it for a while. She of course wasn’t happy. She was also pregnant with her last kid and was only a few months further along than I was. We told the kids the day we found out, it was our weekend and we spent it at the museum having a blast. I took a test when we got home and it popped positive. Not what I expected at all! We had been trying for well over a year, after some medical issues after a miscarriage, I had finally given up when it happened.
I was due two months after our oldest daughter would turn four. So, we decided to have a joint birthday party for her and the baby shower for her little sister. Honestly, I wanted to make it as easy on myself as possible. The thought of two parties in one month made me nauseous! So, I was going to make having them together work one way or another! That also meant the kids would be at both parties instead of just their sister’s birthday.
The kids were excited we were pregnant. My husband’s step-daughter was extremely excited because she lived with us then and would be there with the baby 24/7. And trust me…she took full fucking advantage of that! In a good way! Once she was born, the kid would run to get her as soon as she started crying. I would have to threaten to ground her to get her to stop jumping every time baby girl cried or made a noise.
The day of the party, I was a wreck. The morning sickness was the worst. Absolutely kicked my ass! I was setting everything up with the help of my mom and the kid. My husband was getting the food ready to go on the grill and my day was mowing the yard….because what else does a dad do on party day?! LOL
As the party got closer to starting, my bestie showed up and was trying to convince me that the ex-wife would just drop the kids and leave (it was our weekend). I knew better. She would have an audience…she needed to make sure everyone saw us “getting along” like a big happy blended family. But, she would also have to make it look like she was in charge when it came to the kids.
I wish I could post pictures of the three girls together. They all wore matching pink dresses, it was so cute. I loved it! We did the birthday party first, I wanted our oldest to have things to play with while I was opening baby stuff. She was so excited to have her siblings there to celebrate with her, this was her first birthday having them there. We then did cake before I started opening anything.
The ex-wife was on her best behavior..lol. I wasn’t that surprised, I knew she would do everything to keep her crazy under wraps with my family there. She smiled, laughed and talked with everyone. You could see the kids having fun and relaxing once they saw everything was going to be fine.
It was actually a nice day! Thank God! The kids had fun playing with their sister and were helping put toys together. The ex-wife bought her some gifts from her siblings and she also got baby onboard some outfits. We all had cake and cookout. Laughed and just had a good day together. We have pictures of all of us together, the ex-wife and I with all the kids.
The ex-wife stuck around longer than I expected and hoped for. But, the kids were seeing us all get along and actually have some kind of a normal conversation. And they hadn’t seen that in years. It was good for them. I also believe it was good for us, we needed to be reminded that we can act like adults for the kids. I wasn’t sure how long this calm was going to last or how many more times we would have the calm but, I was going to enjoy it that day.
Most of everyone had already left when the ex-wife was getting ready to leave, except my bestie she was sitting outside smoking when the ex-wife walked out. And she let her narcissistic shine as she was leaving. I was told she smacked my husband ass, made a comment about him being sexy and how he should “get some”. All while holding her newborn from her new husband. Thank God my besties husband was out there also because she would’ve been going to jail.
My husband didn’t say a word when I walked outside but, my bestie gave me a look and I knew something had happened. We went back in side to clean up and she told me. We both just starred at each other for a minute like…what the actual fuck?! Neither of us were exactly surprised but, thrown off a little because the day had gone so calmly with no real narcissistic comments. So, this came out of left field for the day we had.
I asked my husband later on and he said “Well, you’re pregnant and she has a newborn. I really didn’t want to call the cops because of you two today!” I didn’t blame him but, apparently she needed a reminder that she was married and…had no reason to be touching mine! I knew that her husband didn’t have the balls to do anything or say anything to her if anyone told him…I think he was just use to her being that way.
We went on to have a great weekend with the kids. A picnic at the park and a movie night, it was a perfect weekend with us all together celebrating! I loved those weekends and miss them. But, now I get to do things like that with the grandkids.
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