A narcissist will lay out a very well planned persona to make their life look amazing, better than it is in reality for sure. They do everything they can to keep that mask on tight and in place at all times. If it happens to start slipping, they play it off, act like it was nothing and go on hoping the world didn’t notice! They love to make the world think they are living the best life, kids are the best, marriage is the best and they are absolutely the happiest of all!
If they get questioned about something that didn’t quite fit the normal narrative they have so carefully planned out, they turn it around on whoever is asking the questions. They do their best to start making the questioner rethink everything they thought and confuse them as much as they can. They can’t take a chance of someone seeing the mask slip, they can’t let anyone see that their lives are not the perfect picture they have worked so hard to keep up.
They make sure their spouse is “trained” along side their children to keep this persona up, to make the sure that mask doesn’t slip. The minute something goes wrong in that perfect little world they have made for themselves, they lose it! They immediately start blaming anyone else, sadly it’s usually the spouse or a kid. Unfortunately, their own family will become victims if they ever let someone see that the “perfect picture” is hanging off center and sideways.
When I meet my husband the persona wasn’t as Im sure the ex-wife would’ve liked it be. The ex-wife wasn’t as good at hiding it as she is now, she would lose her shit pretty quickly back then. But, she slowly got better at it and had the kids under her thumb as tightly as she could.
A few years ago the middle kid got real tired of being told that she needed to forgive her egg donor because “She’s your mother, you only get one”. She became a victim of the egg donors narcissistic abuse and demanding of the perfect picture persona. So, she started speaking her truth on her social media’s. The ex-wife was telling everyone that would listen that my husband and I had turned the kid against her. The kid had had enough! And I don’t blame her at all.
The ex-wives oldest kid would share her truth regularly on social media. The kid had no filter and gave no fucks about speaking the truth. It always caused a fight, her mother and her minions would attack her but, she would stand on business!
My favorite times the ex-wife would let the mask slip was in court or a public place. I will never forget the day we ran into her with the kids at Walmart and she absolutely lost her shit. Screaming, throwing her arms around and acting like she belonged in a physic ward! The kids were crying, completely embarrassed and she kept on like a fucking idiot! We lived in the same town, but she swore this Walmart was “hers”. Can’t make this shit up!
The next time that I will never forget was when her oldest kid ran away from home and was found a day later in the county over. She of course got the call to pick her up and she refused. Absolutely refused. Guess who she called, my husband, the man she had cut off all contact with the kids the year before. She refused to allow him to even talk to the kids but, all of sudden needed his help because she “couldn’t handle her anymore!”.
Anytime we happen to run into her around town, she would make sure to let us know she was there too. Sometimes it would be a full blown break down and other times she would just talk a little shit as she walked by. Like it was supposed to be intimidating! I will never understand what in her brain tells her acting like a teen girl in high school with a broken heart would accomplish something but, I wholeheartedly believe she thought it did something big to us!
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