The ex-wife changes her story about who her oldest daughter belongs to when it suits her. When she is looking for money, she belongs to my husband but, when she is looking for sympathy she belongs to her biological father that choose drugs over her. When she doesn’t want to take any accountability for her daughters actions, she’ll come back to blaming my husband for “abandoning” her and that is why her oldest is the way she is.
This has been happening for years and I’m sure it will continue this way until she dies. She will never take accountability for her own actions, pushing her daughter into the way she is now. She will never admit that she is the one that introduced her own daughter into the world she now struggles in. I do not like talking about it and I had hopes that the oldest would get out of that world once she got pregnant with her first daughter. Unfortunately, that is not how it went.
When I talk about this kid not being my husband’s child, it’s not because we hate her or are trying to disown her. It’s just the straight facts. The facts are simple, she does not biologically belong to my husband, yet he was placed on her birth certificate without his consent and then had to pay over $15,000 in child support for this child…all while she was also getting child support from her biological father.
Love for this child can not be turned off just because her mother is shady and committed fraud. Thats not saying that I would ever be comfortable letting her back into our day to day lives after her own actions but, we will always love her and hope nothing but the best for this kid no matter what. We can want justice for her mothers fraud and love her at the same time. We want nothing but the best for all the kids.
Now, the ex-wife has spewed all over social media that this kid belonged to my husband because he supposedly signed some paper in front of a notary, however she never mentioned this in court nor has she ever produced this said paper to prove me wrong. I’ve asked for it, more than once. Not only has she never produced it to me but, I can’t find a damn thing in any county clerks records with the courts. I’ve looked, I’ve paid to look at files and I’ve sat in a court house files office waiting for someone to find it. NOTHING!
After a while she started admitting that she was not his daughter. And that he didn’t have any claim to her, it was just a name change, so that it matched them and the their biological kids. She did that so that she wouldn’t know until she got older that she was not his daughter. Clearly, she changed the story as time went on and I started to question more.
She went on to claim that I am the one that “destroyed” the kid by giving her the court papers to read and learn that my husband was not her biological father. She says that I literally handed these court papers to the kid and told her she had a right to know the truth. What she fails to mention is the fact that she got mad at this kid about six months before she moved in with us and told her own daughter she was a product of assault. Who the fuck tells their child that. First, it’s not true! Ex-wife and bio dad had been dating for a while and it was consensual. Second, how could you say something so awful to your own child, even if it was true! You don’t say that to a 15 year old.
The kid is not the only one that told us this is what the ex-wife had told her. This isn’t something that we would ever just make-up…it’s fucking awful! It’s disgusting! If she didn’t want to tell the kid her biological dad was her boyfriend or that they were ever in a relationship, she could’ve just called him a friend. Told the kid that he was a one night stand, something! Anything other than what she did tell her.
That information definitely hurt the kid, it broke her heart, obviously. She thought her mother had been lying to her for the last year…because before all of this the ex-wife had told the kid it was her high school boyfriend…now she’s telling the kid it was assault. I never told the kid anything about bio-dad, I didn't have too, she already knew when she moved in with us at 14. Her mother had told her, her grandmother had told her..she knew! She told me, she said she knew she wasn’t my husband’s biological daughter and that her mom had only changed her last name to keep her from finding out until she was older.
The kid found the court papers in our closet, I never showed her anything. I had them in a box hidden or so I thought back behind clothes and shoes in the closet. She knew she was not supposed to be in our closet and looking through our things, we had discussed boundaries for our house. She never liked to listen but, I was pretty clear on this one. I came home one day from a doctors appointment to her sitting at the dinning room table with the box on the table and all the papers all over the table in front of her. She had so, so many questions. Every. Single. Court paper was in that box. All the court papers between the ex-wife and my husband. Court papers between the ex-wife and myself. The ex-wife and this kids bio dad…EVERYTHING!
All the restraining orders the ex-wife had filed against my husband, all four of them with all the lies she used for so many years against him. The kid had a lot of questions, she didn’t understand why she was being used as a “witness” to supposed abuse of her mother by her “dad” in restraining orders to keep her away from her “dad”. She wanted to know why her mother was stating that her “dad” had beaten her, why was her mother saying that her “dad” had abused her and her siblings. It was a rough night! She then refused to go to her mothers that weekend. We let her stay home, telling her mother that she had plans with friends. We stayed home that weekend and had a small cookout with some friends. She continued to ask questions and was mad. Rightfully so!
The kid started asking to meet her biological father, Again. She did, they kept contact for a short time. But, it got to be too much drama for him with the ex-wife and her games. The same thing she had been doing for years. I know the kid had hoped that her mother wouldn’t act like that and allow her to figure out who her biological father was on her own, but that never happened. I mean the woman invited him to the kid’s graduation just to have him served and arrested for a warrant on non-payment of child support when he was there to watch his daughter get her diploma. So…..
Anyways..the ex-wife will change her story to whatever will fit her that day. To make it sound better to whoever is standing in front of her right then. To get whatever she wants when it comes to Child Support and the Courts. The plays the victim very well, she knows how to manipulate people and she knows how to make up a lie to her advantage! I’ve seen her do it for twenty years!
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